Writer's Workshop - 9/29/11

So after an endless number of weeks of forgetting, I'm finally getting around to doing another Writer's Workshop. I rather like the topic that I picked a lot. It made for a nice daydream, at least.

4.) 10 things you would do if you didn’t have to work.

So my first question is this: Am I not working because we've won the lottery, or because my husband's salary magically doubles so that my income isn't necessary anymore? Because each scenario lends itself to different answers. If we suddenly became wealthy, one of the things I would do is travel. A lot. I would take the kids to see the world. And I would also take some trips on my own, or with just me and my husband. I love going to new places, and I just don't get to do it nearly as often as I would like. Therefore, if Raegan wants to study abroad when she is in college someday, we will make it happen. Totally.

I'm guessing that I probably need to think of what I would do if we were still the same financially, but I didn't *have* to work anymore. So what would I do?

1. Spend a loooooot of one on one time with Raegan. Do lots of fingerpainting and playdough and jumping on the trampoline.

2. Take a nap at least once a week. Naps...... mmmmm.......

3. Do a LOT of baking and try out new recipes all the time. I love to cook so very much, and I wish I had more time to do what I would like to do in the kitchen. I would like to get into some more in depth, difficult recipes, but I just never seem to have the time. I would also like to make every single recipe that I've pinned so far on my Pinterest. Check it out. There are some pretty tasty recipes on my Food board.

4. Going along with #3, I would also start up my own business that had something to do with baking. My mom and I were talking about running a bed and breakfast, with me doing all the baking and cooking. How totally fun would that be?

5. Be thin. I was going to the gym at least 5 times a week this summer because I would go as soon as Luke got home from work. I'm guessing that my inability to do this anymore has something to do with the fact that I'm just a few pounds from my goal, but unable to budge the scale.

6. Do all the crafts that I want to do. I started a Burlap Wreath on Sunday and all I've managed to do so far is wrap the wreath in burlap and get the loops on. I would love to take up sewing, and get back into crocheting again. It was always such a relaxing hobby for me.

7. READ!!!!! I don't get to read nearly enough, and I love it so very much. I would make it a priority to spend at least one naptime of Raegan's a week reading. (After I penciled in my own napping day, of course.)

And honestly, I really can't think of anything else. I feel like my life is pretty balanced the way it is. There are things that I would really like to have time to do more frequently, and I would love more than anything to stay home with Raegan, but I think things are pretty good the way they are. I'll let you all know if a miracle occurs and I do get to stay home. That way you know when to come by and sample treats. ;)

Writer's Workshop - 6/29/11

4.) Name a pet peeve you have about how other parents raise their kids. Go on…stir the pot.


Oh, man. Oh man oh man oh man. I could write a book based on this topic. So maybe I'll just narrow it down to my top five pet peeves. I see a lot of different parenting styles from working with families as a teacher. I get to see a lot. Honestly, seeing some examples of not-so-fine parenting has helped me as I parent Raegan. I have thought of specific children from my classroom and it motivates me to not let her get away with x-y-and-z because I know what can come from permissive parenting.
 
(1) It drives me craaaaaazy when I see people giving their small (I'm talking babies and toddlers here) children soda. I hate it! I have had so many children come through my class with the most horrible cavities, and it usually comes from a combination of sugary drinks and not enforcing brushing their teeth. Raegan to this day has not had a sip of soda (that I'm aware of, and she better not have!!!) and it's going to stay that way for awhile. I am a soda drinker. I drink a looooot of soda. I really need to cut down. But I'm an adult, and I am making that choice, knowing what it does to my teeth and my body (and I do brush my teeth - ha! - and I drink diet, so thats a smidge better). There are plenty of other much healthier alternatives for kids (even school aged kids) if they're thirsty. Raegan loves milk and water. She just doesn't need pop.
 
(2) Another parenting pet peeve of mine is parents who enroll their child in every activity under the sun, and don't allow their child any downtime. I've read several articles about how it's not healthy for children to play sports non-stop from a young age, because of the damage it can do to their joints and muscles. Sports aside, I think that children need to learn how to entertain themselves. I think that there is a lot of benefit to extracurricular activities and sports. I think children should try out their interests and be introduced to teamwork and fair play. But I don't think that they shoul be going, going, going all day every day. They need time to use their imaginations and learn to just be.
 
(3) One more would be letting your child stay up all night. I know a lot of parents who keep their child up late at night (11:00, midnight, sometimes even later) so that they will sleep in the next morning so the parent can sleep in too. Kids need sleep. It's how they grow! It's how their minds develop!!!! Raegan goes to bed at 8:00 (sometimes earlier in the school year if she doesn't get a good nap at child care) because (1) she needs her sleep, and (2) I need Mommy time. I think it makes me a better mom to get some time to myself. I can love her and not need to spend every moment of every day with her. And I can be unselfish and an adult and go to bed at a decent hour so that I can get up with her in the morning. Part of the decision to have children, I say.
 
(4) And my last one (I couldn't really think of a fifth one, at least not a major one). If you know me very well, you should know this one - excessive television. Turn off the dang television and send your child outside! Do you know that the average preschool aged child (meaning ages 2-6) has 32 hours of screen time a week? And the average school aged child is getting about 6 hours a day of screen time (including about an hour and a half daily at school!!!)? And about one fourth of children under the age of two have a television in their room!!!! IN. THEIR. ROOM!!!!!!!! Ludicrous! I think it's nice to watch cartoons all morning on Saturday morning. I certainly laid around in my pajamas doing that when I was a kid. But it wasn't an all day, every day marathon of television, video games and computer. Talk to your child! Read to your child! Have them entertain themselves with their imagination and toys! Ooooooh, it drives me crazy! Can you tell by my excessive use of exclamation points?!!!!!!!! :D
 
Ahhhh, that feels kind of good just to rant it all out. Good prompt this week!

Writer's Workshop - 6/24/11

A day late, but I still remembered! The prompt for this week that I chose is:
4.) A country you would like to visit.

This is a tough one. I had to really think about it, because there are so many places that I would like to go. Honestly, there are so many places just IN the United States that I would like to visit. I really want to go to Washington DC and see all of the historical monuments - the Lincoln Memorial, the Smithsonian (I think Zane would get a big kick out of that), etc etc. I want to go to California and see the ocean on the west coast. I want to go to New York City, and see just how big it is.

As for a country that I would like to visit some day, I'm going to have to go with Italy. I would love to go to all of the art museums and see some of the famous paintings up close and personal. I would love to see the Sistine Chapel and even the Vatican. I've read a couple different mystery books that are set in Italy, and every time I've read one I think how badly I would like to go someday. Add it to my bucket list, huh? And start saving my pennies!

Writer's Workshop - FINALLY!

I'm finally remembering to do the Writer's Prompt from Mama Kat's! I've been very bad about blogging lately - I have a TON of pictures that I also need to post.

4.) We’re too old to be getting in trouble…aren’t we? Write about a time you were scolded…as an adult.

Hmmmm, the first one that comes to mind (that really irritates me) is from a month or two ago. Raegan and I were at Sam's Club. It must have been the weekend because they had samples. (Off topic, Raegan looooves Sam's Club now. She totally realizes that they give you food there, and she's always super excited as soon as we walk in the door. Hahaha!) I stopped at one booth that had chips and salsa and some kind of dip and I scooped up a sample on a napkin. The woman giving out those samples said, "Now, you won't want to give that to her, because they can be a choking hazard for her" as I was popping the eeny weeniest little bit of chip and salsa into Raegan's mouth. You may say, "Well she was just being nice. Calm down woman!" but if you heard her tone, you would not be saying this to me right now. I said, "Okay!" popped another miniscule bite of chip into Raegan's mouth and kept walking.

I know how to feed my daughter. Thanks. :)

This was actually a really good week for prompts, so if I think of it tomorrow, I may do the one about freaking out during pregnancy. I think I *might* have done that once or twice. Only once or twice. ;)

Writer's Workshop - March 2

Sometime this week I plan on looking over my goals for February and letting you all know how I fared. I can tell you now that I didn't hit the 100% mark that I did with my goals for January, but oh well. Still better than breaking my New Years weight loss resolution by January 2nd. :) In the meantime, I'm finally getting back around to participating in the Writer's Workshop for this week. I've realy been neglecting my poor little blog lately.

4.) What inspired you this week?

Without a doubt, the 5K run/2 mile walk that was put on for Reed Krone last Saturday. I mentioned it in my last post, but I'm writing about it again because it was inspiring. And heartbreaking all at the same time.

Reed's family was told a couple weeks back that he couldn't go to St. Jude's because he is too weak. He's starting to have a harder time breathing because the tumor on his liver is expanding so much in his stomach. The tumor on his lungs in growing, and there is a new spot on his other lung as well. At this point, there is nothing left to be done but chemo at home in the hopes that it can shrink these tumors enough to open up other options. I shouldn't really say "nothing else to be done" because there is one other thing. Prayer. It was amazing to see all of the people who are praying unceasingly for Reed and his family. Reading all of the signs along the 5K route where people wrote out their prayers for Reed. It was so inspiring to know that God is finding a way to work in all of this. We may not see His hand in all of this right now, but I believe He always has a purpose.

Raegan and I still continue to pray for Reed every night when we say her prayers, but we've also added a prayer for Reed's parents too. I can't even fathom how they are feeling right now. Angie said that they have started sending Reed's 3 year old brother back to child care this week so that they can express their emotions and grieve and not scare Reese. My heart aches for them daily. Please include this family in your prayers in the days to come.

A little different this week....

I've decided to do things a little differently for the writer's workshop that I've been participating in for about a month now. Normally, I write the blog, then link to it on Mama Kat's website. I'm not going to this time, to keep it a little more private, since it's kind of work related.

5.) Read the following quote and respond: “Sometimes you have to break the rules around you to keep the rules within you.” -Martha Beck (O Magazine)

This is the prompt that stuck out to me immediately. I wasn't going to blog about it, but I decided to just go ahead. I absolutely agree with this quote, even though I'm a rule follower. I think that there are rules in place for a reason, and I'm not someone to flout them because I think I'm above rules or anything of the sort. But there are certain moments when you have to go with what you know in your heart is right, even if it contradicts a rule that is in place in a setting you are in. Immediately when I read this quote I thought of a particular instance in my own life that I felt like it really applied to.

I've had an employer with a lot of rules about fraternizing with parents. There was a long line of rules about what I should and shouldn't do when it came to mingling with the parents I worked with. One in particular was always a source of contention for me. Teachers were not supposed to receive gifts from families. Big huge no no. I guess if a parent were to present us with a gift at Christmas, or during teacher appreciation week, we were supposed to suggest they donate it to the Goodwill or take it back because I just couldn't accept it.

I broke that rule to smithereens. And not for a half a second have I ever felt bad about it. Because how can I, while professing to care about this student of mine, look that child in the eye and tell them that I can't take their gift? Explain to me how that fosters my relationship with the parent or the child, please. I've never gotten an expensive gift. I've never felt bad about taking a gift, like I was taking away from the family's ability to provide Christmas for their own family. I've taken every gift with gratitude. And not an ounce of guilt for breaking a rule. Because it was more important to me to feel good about how I was treating a family or child than it was for me to be a rule follower.

Kids Say the Funniest Things

I'm going to go ahead and do the Writer's Workshop for this week today, since I'm at home thanks to ANOTHER SNOW DAY! :) Gotta love a four day weekend! So the prompt I chose for this week is:

3.) Describe the last thing that made you laugh really hard.
Last week we went to Kohl's. I had Kohl's cash plus a 30% off coupon, and Zane was desperately in need of new shoes. (We ended up getting him a nice pair of Nikes that were originally $65 but we paid $33 for - score!) As we were standing in line to check out, Zane was looking at his advertisement, something about how you could register to win a trip to L.A. He said, "I don't know if I would really want to go to Los Angeles, would you Shannon?" I said, "Well, yeah, a free trip is always good." He said, "Yeah, but I'm just not really into gambling." (Totally serious and thoughtful when he said this, btw.) It took me a second to figure out what in the world he was talking about, then it dawned on me. "Zane, gambling is in Las Vegas, not Los Angeles." Hahahahahaha, I'm giggling just typing out the story.

And since Zane was the last thing to make me laugh really hard, let me add another story about him. One morning, not that long ago, when Zane and I headed to his school to drop him off, there was a Nickleback song on the radio. As I pulled up to the curb at his school to let him out, he said, "Shannon, that song is full of metaphors and similes. I was just picking them out as he was singing." (Obviously this must be what they are studying in English right now.) Sometimes I feel a little bad laughing at him because he's being so darn serious, but he just says the funniest things sometimes.

Writer's Workshop - January 25

I'm really starting to love The Writer's Workshop I've been doing for the last couple weeks. It's always such a good mix of serious and fun topics so that I can always find something I want to write about. For this week I glossed over the serious question of telling of a time you felt left out, because I felt like my last post was serious enough to last this semi-closed person a few days. :) Instead, I went with the fun topic of:

1.) If you could change anything about your pet, what would it be?


This question pertains solely to our beagle Daisy, becase Radar is pretty much the perfect cat. (Except for when he upchucks his hastily eaten meal all over our kitchen floor, like he may or may not have done today....) This is Daisy:

She's pretty cute right? Beagles are generally pretty dang adorable (you should see beagle puppies!) but let me give you a little advice Do not get a beagle. Ever. Even if someone pays you to get a beagle. Not worth it, my friends, not worth it. 

I would like to circumvent any blather about how "dogs are as good as you make them" now, by pointing out that I rescued Daisy (on the day of her execution no less!) from an animal shelter when she was 5 years old. So all of her bad habits were firmly ingrained by the time we became her family.

Daisy is an obsessive eater finder. THAT is what I would like to change about her. My dog has eaten pretty much everything imaginable, and lived to eat another day. I always joke that she's made a deal with the devil and she will never die. She's eaten a penny. She's chewed on a AA battery. She's eaten over half of a bag of Hershey Kisses. She's eaten a good portion of a box of tissues. She's eaten a sock. Yes, a sock. It came back out a few days later, whole. Not the same way that it went down. I swear to the good Lord Almighty that this is a true story. How could I even make anything like that up?

One of the annoying things about Daisy is that she is smart. If she dug out a tissue that fell behind my husband's nightstand, every single time she comes into our room for the rest of all eternity she will go root around that nightstand looking for another delectable tissue to consume. If the weeniest little corner of a bag of food is at the edge of the counter she will stand up and use the very corner of her paw to somehow whisk that bag of food onto the floor and into her jaws of doom. I really would not be surprised if someday she learned how to push a chair over to the counter. I would tell the world about my amazing trick dog that obviously sold her soul to Satan for her amazing powers, but I probably wouldn't even blink at the time.

So that's my dog. I would say that I'm probably much more of a cat person than a dog person these days. I love Daisy, but Radar is so much more low maintenance. We don't have to watch his every move and assume the worst when he takes off down the hallway. I do feel like it's only fair to point out that Daisy has done beautifully at adapting to Raegan. She lets Raegan pet/maul her every day, and rarely growls at her. She even suffers through good night kisses from Raegan most evenings. She's always excited to see me when I come home and I get a very joyful greeting. If I could just change that whole must-eat-anything-that-could-possibly-be-food problem, we would be set.

Writing Prompt #3 - January 19

I really liked the writing prompt that I picked for this week. When I looked at the list it was pretty easy for me to choose this one, because I had just been talking with a friend of mine recently about how ridiculously over-involved children are these days. So without further ado, my writing prompt:

3. It has been said that kids these days are pushed into too many extra-curricular activities and are not given the freedom to play and be bored and to use their imaginations. Is this true?



I absolutely firmly 100% agree with this statement. The days of children looking forward to a summer of nothing but freedom and laziness are gone. Or a weekend of lying around. Parents start worrying about how to diversify their children’s experiences and fatten up their child’s entrance letter for college from the moment they make their entrance into the world. I feel confident in saying that the above statement is true; because I can name specific people that I am acquainted with who believe that more is, well, more.

I know of families whose children are in every conceivable activity. Sports all year around, with no real break between seasons. Summers filled with daily activities, so that it’s hard for the family to even figure out how to take a family vacation together. Mom and Dad juggling who is going to take which child to which activity, and maybe even having to call in extended family members to help with chauffeuring every now and then. All done in the name of giving your child “the best childhood” and the “most experiences for college.” Which is all fine and dandy. I am all for children doing more than just sitting on the couch watching television and playing video games all day every day. I’m all for the lessons of teamwork, cooperation and fair play that children learn from playing team sports. But since when do we have to start worrying about our child’s college admission when they are toddlers? Since when does a “good” childhood mean doing everything, and stretching your child (and yourself) so thin that they cannot truly enjoy a single thing they do? Why should “giving your children the best” equal impairing their ability to entertain themselves or find enjoyment with the simple things in life?

We have a middle of the road approach to extra-curricular activities. Zane played soccer and basketball every year from second to fifth grade. This year (sixth grade) he decided that he doesn’t want to play basketball anymore. So he doesn’t. He still plays soccer in the fall and in the spring. It’s always been the sport he is most interested in, so he’s focusing his efforts on that now. We live in a rather sports-obsessed town, where many children play sports all year round, maybe even two sports in one season. I am thankful that Zane has not succumbed to this mindset, that he knows his own mind and isn’t playing sports just to play. Luke and I started him in soccer and basketball when he was 7 because he was interested in both, and we thought it would be good for him to learn to work together with others and see his friends outside of school. Zane also plays the trumpet in the middle school band. Because he wants to. We told him last year when he wanted to play in 5th grade that he would have to play for the whole school year because we were paying for the trumpet. He’s not a huge fan of practicing, but he loves to play, and he even thinks he would like to learn to play the guitar now.

I usually enroll Zane in a few activities over the summer, because it gives him something to do, and it gives me some breathing room. He picks activities that he wants to do, but he certainly doesn’t gogogogogogo all day every day. He has time to go to his friends’ houses and hang around our house and even watch TV. I think Zane is able to entertain himself. He’s not so used to a constant barrage of activities that he gets bored when we have an afternoon at home. I really think that’s the way it should be. Zane’s college entrance letters may not be fattened up with a million activities, but he’s pretty dang good at the ones he has chosen to do. And I don’t have to do his homework for him, or sign band practice sheets for time he hasn’t practiced because he’s too busy running from one thing to the next. Family dinners and move nights are not an extremely rare thing to our family, and my children have time to be siblings and play together.

I know in today’s society my opinion may not be popular, or the norm. But I have a 12 year old who is growing up to be a pretty decent person – he’s smart, imaginative, funny and creative. And all of that without an extra-curricular activity for every day of the week.

Writing Prompt #3 - January 12

So the writing prompt for this week was really hard for me. I have had a really hard time deciding which one I want to write about. Really, I can think of something to write for every single one of the prompts, but since this is a public journal there were just some things I didn't feel comfortable with putting out there so the whole world could read. As is, I'm getting a little more personal than I usually do in a public online place, because I'm going to talk a little about Zane and custody. So if it doesn't make sense to you and you want to know more, feel free to ask and I'll give you answers in a less public way.

So out of the five prompts, the one I chose for this week is #3 - A moment you truly felt relieved.

When Luke and I started dating the summer of 2001, Zane was 2 1/2. Luke did not have residential custody of Zane at that point, but was starting to have Zane stay overnight more and more frequently. By the spring of 2002, Zane was spending the majority of his time with Luke, to the point of some stretches of unbroken time with Luke lasting longer than a week at a time. Between this and some unpleasant things taking place in his ex's personal life, Luke decided it was time to try for a change in custody.

It was so stressful and scary. Dads just do not get residential custody. He had a fabulous lawyer, and a very good case, but it was still so scary, simply because he was a dad. I went over to Luke's house the night before court, and by that point "the gig was up" so to speak, and Luke was *forbidden* to see Zane. It was a bleak, worrisome evening. I didn't stay very long because neither of us really felt like hanging out.

I made the choice not to go to court and went to work the next day. We hadn't been dating quite a year at this point, so I wasn't thinking about our future and family and all of that at this point. I tried to call Luke on my lunch and got no answer. When I still hadn't heard from him by the time I left work late that afternoon I was kind of worried. I walked out of the door and saw Luke's truck parked near my car. As I walked up to his truck I saw Zane's beautiful little towhead peeking out over the top of the dash. I'm tearing up thinking about it now. I cannot even describe my joy or relief at that moment, to run up to his truck and hear Zane's beautiful little voice say my name. I can think of several moments in my life where I have felt true relief, but there are very few that reach the profound relief I felt that day.

Sometimes I am so frustrated by Zane, much moreso these days as we enter the turbulent teen years. His age and all of the hormones and drama that goes with it, combined with the issues that come with the stepparent/stepchild relationship have made things a little rocky as of late. I need to remember to think back on this moment more often, and remember how things were and what could have been with a different outcome that day. We all are so very blessed that God touched that judge's heart that day and that he saw the truth.

Writing Prompt #1

I found this website through a friend's blog, and thought I would give the Writer's Workshop a try. Since, you know, I'm still too lazy motivated to figure out my picture storage dilemma. So here's the prompt I chose:

1.) Choose a word that encompasses 2010 and describe why. What word will you choose as your theme for 2011?

My word that encompasses 2010 would be accomplished. I feel like I accomplished a LOT in 2010, more than I ever thought I would be capable of doing. I graduated with my masters in exactly two years. My original goal had been two and a half to three years, knowing when I started the program in August of 2008 that we were trying to get pregnant already at that point. (Fact: I was pregnant or had a newborn/young infant for all but three months of my grad school career.) So I far surpassed my goal for grad school, and did it in the time that 24 year olds that aren't working full time with a family do it. And I finished with a 4.0. Which I never said outloud, but I wanted that so badly. I am a perfectionist with myself. If someone gives me a goal or project or whatever, I am going to do it as perfectly as possible. I probably could have spent a lot less brain power and effort on grad school, but my God, I wanted to do the very best I could. I kicked out some papers that I am pretty proud of. :)

I also accomplished going back to work and almost a full school year of teaching after having a baby. I don't know if I would call it PPD, but I definitely struggled with going back to work. It was a hard school year. And let me tell you, not wanting to be at work and simultaneously being a perfectionist that wants to do everything just so can really mess you up. But I did it. I figured out how to be a working mom and still make Raegan a top priority in my life. I still sometimes dream of getting to stay at home, but I know that it's not really a feasible option for where we are in life right now. The important thing is that I've come to peace with that. And *that* may have been an even bigger accomplishment than the whole grad school package, in the long term.

So my word for 2011? Security. My goal for this year is to gain some financial security for Luke and I. We have a savings account, sure. We also have a decent amount of debt, with our mortgage, car payment, and my now even bigger student loan balance. My biggest goal is to knock out a good chunk of our debt. Obviously, it's not going away by the end of 2011 (hello, mortgage!) but I would like to take away more of it than I would by just doing things the same. I'm hoping that eventually that my employer will offer a Financial Peace class for employees (like we already do for families in the program) so that I can get some more ideas on how to reduce our debt.

I want both kids to have a college savings account, not with the thought of paying for their college, but that Luke and I can give each of them a little break from their future student loans. Zane's obviously needs to be started like yesterday, and we'll be contributing more to that than Raegan's at first.

I enrolled us in the Flexible Spending Account through Luke's work, which is where they deduct pre-tax dollars from his check into an account that we get reimbursed from for our medical expenses. I started out pretty conservatively, and skipped the part where we could use money for child care. We'll see how the plan works this year and then look at saving more pre-tax dollars next year. I've also already started saving for our vacation next summer, so that it's not this burden on us to get away as a family. I still remember so many details of my own family's summer vacations to Colorado, and I want Zane and Raegan to have those kinds of memories from their childhoods also.

So bring it on, 2011. I feel like it's going to be a good year! I really hope I'm right. :)